These 5 Parenting clichés are not new, you already know them because you’re a conscientious and responsible parent who wants to be the best you possibly can. You’ve probably read them in parenting magazines or discussed them with your friends or peers. But, sometimes we all need a little reminding every now and then………………

Pick your battles! –working out what is important to you and your partner will make it easier not to sweat the small stuff. Once you decide what you can let slide, you’ll have more energy to focus on things that require attention. This will be different for each parent but important things might include manners, sharing or not hitting their siblings or your pet. Things that might not be so important could be staying up a bit later or eating desert without having finished all her dinner (or it might be the exact opposite of this), it's about what's important to you and your household.

Ignore the bad, reward the good – you’ve no doubt heard it before & you know you should, but how do you make it work? You might feel that if you ignore your child when they are throwing their toys or teasing their sister you’re letting them get away with behaviour that’s just not acceptable. But according to parenting experts if you react by asking them not to or putting them on the naughty chair, (whatever your chosen method to attempt to change the behaviour is) you’re actually encouraging this because according to your child, any reaction is good enough, even if it’s being yelled at. So this goes back to the first cliché, pick your battles! What kind of negative behaviour can you ignore?

Rewarding the good is as simple as recognising when your child is displaying behaviour you find pleasing, for example if they are playing well on their own then tell them, "I love it when you play nicely by yourself" or if they’ve used their manners without prompting then “what beautiful manners” or “thank you for using your manners” would be a rewarding response. A reward in this case is not a lolly or toy, it’s as simple as a cuddle, a kiss on the forehead or a pleasing smile with verbal praise. These types of reactions will boost your child’s confidence and encourage them to repeat this positive behaviour. 

Form a united front – there’s nothing more confusing for a child than having to live by different sets of rules. Not only will they be confused and not understand what is acceptable behaviour, they have no idea why they are allowed to have a cookie before dinner one day but not the next. Children are not silly; they will eventually learn to play one parent off against the other in order to get what they want.  So leave the defiance to grandma and discuss your desired parenting techniques with your partner. Just because you have chosen to have children with someone, doesn’t mean you will automatically agree on how to raise them. If there is disagreement then find middle ground. If a particular rule or “way” is really important to your partner you may need to bend some of your own rules and vice versa. Think of yourselves as a team.

Check your expectations – how old is your child? What is normal learning or behaviour for their age? Sometimes the intelligence and grown-up attitudes of our children mean we have extraordinary expectations of them when it comes to learning and behaviour. Perhaps your three year old can count to 20 or recite the alphabet, but if being too tired to eat dinner or too distracted to tell you he need to go to the toilet leads to an almighty tantrum, it’s because his ability to communicate & express his feelings is limited to that of a three year old.

Or, perhaps your expectations of yourself and your parenting abilities are far too high, you may feel pressure to be the perfect parent due to unwarranted comparisons with those around you. Understand that you will have moments you’re not proud of, you may lose the plot occasionally and handle things in a way that you wish you didn’t, but being a parent is not easy! There is no doubt that children will test your limits, your patience, and your ability to live without sleep or feel unappreciated. At the end of the day you take something from each encounter and add it to your tool box of “parenthood survival”.

Take a moment – absorb and appreciate the wonder and beauty of your children. It’s so easy to get caught up in the rat race of life or the do's and don't of perfect parenting, and not take the time to actually look at them in the waking hours. What do you see in your child’s eyes? Intelligence, unconditional love, admiration, kindness, sadness, dependence and so much more.

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