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Week 1:
The decision to have another baby was one we’d always talked about & considered since our first beautiful daughter was born nearly 3yrs ago. My husband has a really tight bond with his brother who is 3yrs younger than him and I have two siblings, a brother 7yrs younger and a sister 12yrs younger. Although I absolutely love my siblings, growing up I’d always wish I had someone closer in age. So we always thought if we were going to have another, 3-4yrs apart would be ideal.
My daughter is an April baby, my birthday is in January and my husband’s in July, so we thought we’d try and spread the birthdays out a little and aim somewhere between September – November.
A couple of our friends had babies 2mths ago and I have a 10mth old nephew whom my daughter absolutely adores, so for a few weeks now she’s been regularly telling us she wants a baby brother. She’s very certain that it must be a brother and not a sister so the pressure is on! This brings us to Friday night (NYE). As we pull up at our friends’ house for the evening’s events, our Daughter is in her car seat absolutely bursting with excitement to see their 4yr old son. Mike turns to me and says, “she needs a sibling”, so I say “ok, should we start trying then?” and that was that, here we are trying for number 2.......
Week 2:
Have started reading a book that my good friend and naturopath Jo gave to me ‘A Labour of Love’ by Gabrielle Targett. Gabrielle is an inspiring woman who has had 3 natural water births (2 at home) & works as a doula. The book explains how the body naturally releases labour hormones such as Adrenalin, Endorphins, Prostaglandins, Oxytocin and Relaxin at specific times/stages throughout labour to provide natural pain relief for a natural birth. This has me thinking about my first labour/birth, which I feel was fairly traumatic. Josie was two weeks overdue when I went into hospital to have the prostaglandin gel applied to help stimulate contractions and help my cervix efface. The next morning I had my waters broken as I’d only dilated 2cm over night. Once that happened it was game on and 5hrs into full-on labour I asked for an epidural. Come to the end of the labour my legs were shoved in stirrups, there’s five ‘medical’ staff in the room and I’ve been given an episiotomy without even being informed. Josie was born and they’d clamped and cut her cord without even giving my husband the option of doing it, I was stitched in a hurry and then the doctor just left. 18 months later I had to have perennial surgery to fix the damage caused by my severe tearing (which I’m sure is due to the episiotomy)
So the more I think about my previous experience, the more determined I am to have a natural, drug-free birth with minimal intervention next time.
Ovulating this week so fingers crossed!
Week 3:
So I’m totally obsessed with 'A Labour Of Love'. The more and more I read, the more I feel totally ripped off with my first birth experience. I have to admit that really the way things went down was mainly my own fault. I was very unprepared and hadn’t read any books about labour and instead relied on what the ‘medical practitioners’ told me. We went to antenatal classes and the midwife was very lovely but I guess being that the hospital is an extremely medicalised environment they only seem to give you information about what pain relief ‘they’ can provide. At no point in time did anyone say ‘but your body provides natural pain relief…’ Anyway, I should have read more books and been more prepared with a birth plan and such and maybe things would’ve went down how I wanted them to. So this time I will be strong and prepared and will give it my best to achieve a natural, labour with a pain I can manage myself.
As I’ve been reading about some of the possible side effects drugs such as pethidine and epidurals can have on both mother and baby, such as post natal depression, oxygen deprivation for the baby, breastfeeding issues, the fact that epidurals can slow down the baby’s heart rate deeming a caesarean or vaccum/forcep extraction necessary, I’m starting to feel lucky I never experienced them. Although it has made me think deeply about the options I will definitely be ruling out next time. I’m trying not to get too upset about my first experience and instead see the positive side. At least next time I’ll be better educated.
Week 4:
(Monday) Not much happening this week, finished my book. I’ve decided it would be an amazing and satisfying job being a Doula, so think I might look into training. I feel that women need more encouragement and support to have natural ‘drug free births’ more so than they need to be told what ‘drugs’ the can be offered in the ‘hospital’ run ante-natal classes. In these classes the focus seems to be more on what pain relief they can offer rather than the pain relief your body naturally expels. Have also started looking into exercise classes for preggie bellies and think I’d love to do aqua aerobics and pregnancy yoga. Maybe I’m being slightly premature with all my thoughts but you never can be too prepared I guess. Pretty sure I’m due for a period at the end of the week so will probably do a pregnancy test fairly soon.
(Tuesday) Ok, so can’t wait any longer need to do the test now! Up at 5.30am with pregnancy test in hand I head off for the 1st toilet trip for the day. I was a little worried I’d be testing too early as I’m not due for another four days but I simply can’t wait. Now I know they say you’re supposed to wait three minutes to see the result but honestly who waits that long without gazing anxiously at the stick the whole time. So as I’m watching I’m saying to myself “please be positive, please be positive”. Sure enough within 30 seconds there were those two little pink lines that have the power to either make you fall off your seat and/or send your heart racing with excitement. I was so happy, had flutters in my stomach and a smile on my face and still tired and groggy I walked over to my husband who was still in bed and told him the news. He replies with a tired smile and an “ok cool” and with a quick kiss he got up to get ready for work and I went back to bed.
(Friday) Still all seems a bit surreal. Have done three more tests (a bit extreme I know) and all a clear positive. We have had a miscarriage in the past, which was very hard at the time so trying not to get too excited just yet, but it’s so hard not too! Also extremely hard to not just burst and tell everyone our news. But better to make sure everything is ok before we spread the word.
Week 5:
Am starting to feel very tired and sick, it seems to be very early for the morning sickness though. Am finding that just the thought of my usual diet of salad, fruit and veggies is making me feel very unwell. Am craving carbs like there’s no tomorrow (I need the energy I guess) so am trying to eat lots of fruit but all I can seem to stomach are bananas, grapes and apples. Not used to being so tired, never experienced this with my first pregnancy. I was still able to work two jobs, keep going to the gym and stay up to my usual tuck in time. Now I’m finding I need to be in bed by 9 o’clock latest or I could just drop to the ground with exhaustion. It’s been hard keeping this to myself at work, especially feeling so sick and being so tired, I think my manger is starting to get suss and might have to let her in on the deal pretty soon. My husband keeps asking me when I’m going to the doctor to get a blood test, I don’t think he’s quite believes it’s all really happening yet. Still a bit anxious and praying we don’t miscarry.
Told two of our closest friends today. Jo is a naturopath and is absolutely amazing. She has the same ideas as me (actually she’s the one that has really inspired me to do things differently this time and really think it through). Was very exciting to be able to tell someone and the reaction was ace. Spoke to Jo about possibly taking a doula in with me when I’m in labour and she offered to be on my birth support team if I’d like her to be. I was pretty stoked she offered actually, I know she’d be an amazing support person not only to me but to my husband too. She’s very headstrong and won’t be afraid to ask questions should the midwives/doctors want to veer of my birth plan and implement their own ideas. Not only that but what an incredible experience to share with such a close friend.
Week 6:
Ok, so morning sickness has definitely already kicked in. It’s just so overwhelming, I mean I guess I shouldn’t complain it’s not like I’m running to the toilet every 5 minutes but the nausea is just so so bad. Can’t eat because I feel sick, I feel sick because I can’t eat, it’s a vicious cycle. I should count my blessings; everyone says that it’s a good sign and it’s just all the extra progesterone, so trying to keep positive and just battle through. Had to tell my manager this week, just didn’t want to be continuously asking people to cover my shifts without giving a ‘reason’ and plus had to make sure I had a bucket with me at work on Thursday. Sonia (my manager) is great, so supportive and has been a bit of a mentor to me over the years, also a great friend. So was really exciting to tell her, even though she was on to me anyways. Can’t wait for the 12 week mark to hurry and get here so we can start telling everyone else, I’m terrible at keeping things to myself and this is just killing me!
Week 9:
Decided it might be about time to make an appointment with the doc so booked in for Wednesday. During the appointment I was expressing my concerns about going back to Frankston, not being able to have another natural labor due to my 'repair' after my daughter and the fact that I really didn't want to have a cesarean. Instead of trying to understand she seemed more concerned with informing me of how she had two cesareans and she's fine and her daughters are fine. I'm not sure if it's a fact but women seem to be a lot more opinionated when it comes to pregnancy and birth than men. Anyway, have decided to change my GP, find someone that's on board with me.
Am still reading Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering which is amazing, learning so much and feeling good about being strong and in control of my wishes and have also started reading HypnoBirthing by Marie Mongan, so besides the morning sickness and being completely exhausted, I'm feeling really great :)
Week 10:
Decided we're close enough to the 'safe' zone to start telling our close friends and family, starting with our daughter. We'd decided to tell her Monday night after dinner when we were having 'family time'. So we all sat down and my husband told her that mummy has a baby in her tummy and that she was going to be a big sister. She proceeded to jump off the couch and then bounced up and down as she chanted “YAY YAY YAY YAY”. Was such a beautiful moment, which we recorded, and she has repeatedly told us since then how excited she is. So we decided to let her tell the family and took her around this weekend to tell the grandparents and auntie's/uncle's. The reactions we received were really uplifting, I kind of feel that there was more excitement this time round. Maybe it's because with our daughter there was a shock element to it so everyone needed to get past that before becoming excited.
Blood test week.... ick
Week 13:
Starting to feel better in terms of morning sickness so that's a relief. Heaps jazzed this week because we had our first ultrasound. I forgot how painful it was trying to hold that liter of water in your bladder until it's over but it's funny how quickly you forget about the extreme amount of pain you're in as soon as you see your bubba on the screen. Took Josie with us, want her to be included as much as possible so she can share in our excitement. She was so cute when we heard the heartbeat, her faced lit up in a surprised but excited confusion, don't think she could quite understand how we can hear the baby from inside my tummy. As soon as we heard the heartbeat a feeling of relief and joy swept over me all at once. It's easy to feel concerned in the early stages, because even though I've had most of the 'pregnancy' symptoms per say, not being able to feel movement to validate everything has made me a little anxious about everything being ok.
Have started to ‘pop’, think I might actually be starting to look a little pregnant now rather than just majorly bloated :)
Week 15:
Well life is just great right now, loving being pregnant, loving my amazing husband and my beautiful girl, who is insistent on the fact that she wants and IS having a baby sister. I keep telling her we'll find out as soon as we can but we really can't choose what we're going to have, but she's sure she's having a sister, secretly I've a feeling we're having a boy. Getting closer and closer to our next ultrasound and I'm almost dying with anticipation to find out what gender our little package is going to be! Felt fluttering for the first time on Wednesday, which made me laugh and cry all in the same moment and I kept thinking thank goodness I’m alone because I look like a crazy person right now. It kind of feels like butterfly's in there and sometimes like snakes wiggling around, a very strange but sensational feeling, I think I've fallen in love with this cherub even more now :)
Week 18:
A friend of mine used HypnoBirthing as a form a natural pain relief during the birth of her daughter and raved about how great it is and since reading the book and discussing it with a few close friends I've decided that it's definitely something I want to do. I got in contact with Sandy (the lady my friend used) who is a doula and also is a qualified HypnoBirthing therapist. I won't need to use her as a doula as I'm confident in my birth support team (my husband and close friend) but am enrolling in her HypnoBirthing classes. Had a great chat with her, she's just one of those people you feel instantly comfortable with and I loved her straight away. She's headed over to England in June for a few weeks to attend a conference about HypnoBirthing and Marie Mongan (she invented it) will be speaking, so I've decided to wait until she gets back to start the classes. In the meantime I'll continue to listen to the relaxation CD that comes with the book, only thing is when I listen to it I become too relaxed I guess and just end up falling asleep!
Had my booking in appointment at the hospital on Thursday. I was so anxious about it as I was going to Frankston again. I was concerned about them trying to convince me that a cesarean was the best option due to my prior surgery, about having an experience the same as the last and about them not being on my side with the natural birth with minimal intervention and NO drugs. As the midwife and I got talking and I queried a few things and spoke up about how I would like things to go unless, of course there are complications and my choice to practice HypnoBirthing, I grew more and more comfortable. She was so lovely and understanding and when it got down to discussing my options of the type of care I'd like she suggested the Team Midwifery. This is a group of about six midwives that look after you throughout the pregnancy and then one of them is guaranteed to be there for the birth. The team is all about natural childbirth and minimal intervention and fully supports alternative/natural pain relief therapies. What's more is I found out that Frankston hospital now have two water birthing baths, so chances are I can have myself a water birth. Walked out feeling like I was floating, a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders and for the first time felt extremely excited to give birth to this little bubba!
Week 19:
This week has been so hard and amazing all at the same time. Hard because I spent the most of the week waiting for our 19wk ultrasound and amazing because we finally found out what we're going to have :) Our scan was on Friday and we took Josie with us again. I had a 12hr shift on Thursday, which seemed to drag on forever and could barely sleep that night due to the excitement. Everyone kept telling me 'don't find out, let it be a surprise', I totally understand why people like to wait and that at the end of the long journey of pregnancy and birth it's a rewarding discovery, for me however I like to be surprised midway. We found out with Josie and it was useful during labor as I could talk to her and try to 'coax' her out, that and I'm also really impatient! So we had our ultrasound that of course was fantastic! Our baby was so cute, moving around heaps and sucking it's thumb, and after what seemed like a very long 45 minutes and about 90 images captured we found out we'll be having another little girl. I really didn't have a preference, I would have obviously been happy with either but knowing how much Josie wanted a sister and to see her reaction when she found out was so pleasing and satisfying and I'm delighted up to my eyeballs! Josie is already talking about sharing her dresses and her toys with her sister and about how she's going to help mummy and daddy look after her, it's just so very sweet. And I have to say now that the baby is a 'she' and not an 'it' I have fallen even more deeply in love with her :)
Week 20:
Well looks like we have a future Olympian of sorts here. She is so strong and spirited that my husband was able to feel her for the first time this week as she nearly put a foot through my abdomen. I am so delighted that I’m able to share this with him from fairly early on because I feel like the poor dad’s really get a hard deal. Not only do they have to put up with us ridiculously hormonal women, they don’t get the reward like we do in terms of ‘bonding’ with their baby.
During the 9-10mths of pregnancy every little flutter/kick/punch throughout the day is experienced by us ladies, we have all the beautiful hormones i.e. Oxytocin that enable us to revel in the joy of our pregnancy and all the dad’s get is crazy! Then when baby is born it’s the smell of mum, her heartbeat, her voice, and her boobies that has the calming effect on these tiny little creatures. And if you choose to/are able to breastfeed, that quality time spent skin on skin bonding with your baby and the fact that you are the food source leaves it very hard for the poor dads to compete (not that it’s a competition). I think it’s so important that they are able to share as much of the whole experience as possible and I’m thrilled that we’re able to start now.
Feeling better and better every week and at the same time getting a little freaked out (also grateful) at how fast time is flying!
Week 22:
Have to laugh at myself every time I try and squeeze through small spaces or past people. I seem to somehow believe that if I just breathe in a little I’ll be able to get through, those 10cm gaps can be quite deceptive. I’m obviously somewhat delusional to my expanding belly because I can’t seem to understand why it’s such and effort to touch my toes or pick a pen up off the floor, seriously every times I try an unexpected groan come out as if I’m an 80yr old woman (in fact I’m sure some 80yr olds would have more success at touching their toes than me!)
It’s funny that once you’re pregnant every random person believes they have the right to comment on your size and ask extremely personal questions. Conversations go somewhat like this –
Unknown person “how many months are you?”
Me: “nearly 6”
Unknown “really? Wow are you having twins?” or the complete opposite “really? You’re not very big, are you a smoker?”
Me: Usually speechless
Unknown: “Is this your first”
Me: “Second”
Unknown: “Did you have a natural birth first time around”?
Seriously what the! If my friends ask me about this stuff or even regular customers I’m more than happy to share that info, I’m not really a closed book with many things which is the reason I’m so willing to share my pregnancy journal on a public forum. However it really irks me that people seem to loose all social etiquette when they see a pregnant woman. I’ve often wondered how they’d react if I turned around and said “Oh but I’m not pregnant”. Perhaps I will try that out J
Lots more activity in the belly this week, in fact she never seems to sleep!
Week 24:
Ok so perhaps I’m having a bit of a vent but I simply have to share J. I work in a family owned Tattslotto agency, this week we’ve had two big Jackpots $20 Million Tuesday & $30 Million Thursday. Now, there must be a myth that I’ve not heard of that pregnant woman are lucky because during the course of the week I’ve had at least five strangers hands reach over the counter and rub my belly without permission.
Maybe it’s just me and the fact I have issues with my personal space but I felt like saying “hey mate, I don’t care if you think my belly is going to win you $30 Million, back the hell off!” However being me I just smiled politely and said ‘good luck!” Thing is had they asked permission I probably wouldn’t have minded so much, ahh people and their quirks.
Had my first appointment with the Team Midwives on Monday. The two ladies who saw me were so lovely, very softly spoken and eager to listen to previous experiences and wishes for the upcoming birth. I decided to not have the glucose tolerance test (test for gestational diabetes) as last time the risk was really low and there’s no history of diabetes in my family, I follow a healthy diet and don’t eat lollies/chocolate every day so didn’t think it necessary. They didn’t try to convince me otherwise and just said that as long as I knew exactly what is was that it was fine with them. Belly measurements spot on for 24wks, heartbeat strong, and blood pressure great so we’re rockin!
Started yoga last week and went again this week, I just love it! Been finding it hard to find time to spend with our baby girl. By the time I make time for my husband, my daughter, housework, work etc it seems I’ve little time to focus on spending some time everyday with the baby. I try listen to the hypnobirthing cd every night and now with yoga I get that 1hr once a week to spend with her that I look forward too. And it’s so very relaxing. Still feeling really great, she’s very feisty unlike my daughter who was very docile. I wonder if their personality inside the womb represents how they are once born? Hmmm… if so, we’re in for it!
Week 28:
Not much has been happening really, just life. Had another midwives appointment, which was great. Talked a little about Josie’s birth and the lovely midwife was so devastated that it went down the way it did that she apologized profusely as if it were somehow her fault, then reassured me it wouldn’t be like that this time around.
It was kind of sweet and calming knowing that it’s not just me thinking I got a bad go of it. And really in all honesty I know that Josie’s birth was really not as bad as some stories I’ve heard or even a birth I witnessed. That thought makes me kind of sad, how many women get totally ripped off from being able to have the birth they want/are entitled to because of medical intervention or lack of education or even just ‘trusting the system’. Not to say that medical staff are all bad because of course they’re not, but they are trained with western society’s ideas about labour and birth. In the Hypnobirthing book I’ve been reading they talk about how women in Africa give birth. Basically they feel their labour coming on, continue to work through their contractions or ‘surges’ and when they feel it’s time to deliver their baby they brace themselves on a wall, squat down and birth and receive their baby themselves. No need for artificial pain relief whatsoever because they believe their body has the capability to provide natural pain relief and birth a baby. And why shouldn’t it, if we can make a baby, grow a baby without help then surely we should be able to birth it too. Whilst reading I could completely envision the scene in my mind and felt so serene and inspired, what a beautiful natural way to birth a baby.
Belly still growing, still lots of movement & I’m still loving it!
Week 31:
Another midwives appointment this week, everything right on track. I know I’ve said it before but I love the TEAM looking after me. All they do is check my blood pressure, measure my belly & listen to her heartbeat with a hand held Doppler. Then we have a little chat about how I’m feeling and that’s it. So not invasive at all and just completely calming. Our first Hypnobirthing session was this week so Jo, Mike and myself got to finally meet Sandy. She is a lovely lady; a Grandmother to hypnobirthed children & her daughter is a Hypnobirthing practitioner over in England. The session was basically an introduction to Hypnobirthing, the history of midwives and birthing mothers from centuries ago, and the introduction of how the idea that birth was supposed to be painful came about. The session was good, but I have this thing where if I get really interested in something I do so much research on the subject that I basically knew everything she was telling us. Jo said the same thing, however the session was good for Mike because the only knowledge he had was what I had regurgitated to him from my readings. Looking forward to the next class can’t wait to learn my breathing techniques.
Week 32:
What a great week, besides the fact that Josie and I have been sick all week, I’ve been feeling really spiritually connected to our little bundle. The more I grow the more excited I get & simply can’t wait to meet her. Names have been our main topic of conversation this week, I have two that I really love, one more than the other, but it’s a little different so Mike’s a bit hesitant. Especially being that Power is our surname we have to be careful with our choice.
On Sunday I had a Mother Blessing/Blessingway. Jo organized it for me through her good friend Tabitha whom I have to say is simply gorgeous, a real free spirit. Honestly it was one of the most beautiful and moving experiences I’ve ever had. We got most of my closest friends over and we all sat on pillows in a circle around a centerpiece of flowers, candles, a mother & baby statue and Jo had the great idea of adding her gemstones to it for that finishing touch. After an introduction to women’s circles Tabitha cleared the air with sage and we all joined hands for a brief meditation. The energy that surged through the circle as soon as all these wonderfully strong women joined hands was simply mind blowing, an energy and feeling I know I will carry with me for a long time, seriously amazing. I’d asked everyone to bring a story of empowerment and a bead that represented their story or that they’d like to give me to empower me to thread onto a bracelet I could then take with me into labour. So we went around the circle and one by one each of my friends told their stories and provided some loving and inspiring words. It was so emotional and I spent most of the time crying and thinking how lucky I was to have such beautiful women in my life. I’d also asked everyone to bring a bead for Josie to make her a big sister necklace and write a few little words for her because becoming a big sister/brother can be a joyous yet complicated time for little ones that I want her to be a part of it as much as possible. We also decorated little Paper Mache eggs with texta and each wrote some word of encouragement. We had some light afternoon tea and a chat, which was perfect to finish off such a wonderful day. The whole experience was so moving, empowering and good for my soul, I know that with my bracelet I’ll be able to take all that positive energy with me into labour and will have the most wonderful birth.
Week 33:
Had another Hypnobirthing session this week. Learnt the first breathing technique, which is the 4/8 breathing, in for 4 out for 8. This is used during early labour as a way of relaxing and focusing. I think yoga has helped a fair bit with my breathing also, which is good. Watched an amazing water birth DVD featuring some Russian midwives. In Russia they have a camp set up somewhere on the Black Sea where pregnant women with their families go to birth their babies. It’s so fascinating, women, husbands and children just go and hang out together, swim with the dolphins and when it’s time for mum to have baby the walk down to a rock pool and birth their babies in the warm waters of the sea. It’s really quite magical. One of the births we watched was one of the midwives birthing her third baby at home with her husband and other two children present. She was in such a state of tranquility just focusing on her breath that she was able to smile throughout the labour and birth and showed not one sign of pain. I was almost in disbelief at how easy it all seemed to be, but again isn’t that the way it should be. I loved it and could watch it 10 x over.
Everything is still going pretty breezy, in fact I think I’d hardly feel pregnant if it weren’t for limbs poking out every which way, the fact that I can’t walk as fast as I think I can and now have to squat to pick anything up off the floor.
Week 35:
Had our fear release session of Hypnobirthing this week. Wrote down all or any fears we may have following the previous birth, becoming parents to a second child, financial worries and anything of the sort. After Sandy read a fear release script we went outside and burnt the paper in symbolism of letting go. To my surprise it seems to have work. Even though I feel much more at peace with my pregnancy and birth this time I feel that it possibly cleared/released that small bit of tension I was still carrying around with me. Did a few relaxation scripts and learnt a few nifty little tricks in relation to how to turn the pain off using the power of the mind and visualization and watched another Hypnobirthing DVD. It’s good watching the DVD’s as it reiterates the point that birth can be pain free and even pleasurable, as unbelievable as that may seem. However I can totally understand how people can become ‘addicted’ to birth.
Week 36:
Had another satisfying appointment with the midwives, took Josie and Mike along with me. Handed in my birth preferences and was expecting a little hesitation on some of them but there was no such thing. In fact she even made some suggestions that I hadn’t thought of like removing the clock from the room so as not to have the pressure of time going too slow etc.… Josie was just beautiful, measuring my belly, holding the Doppler to listen to her sister, checking my blood pressure. The midwife asked if we were going to have Josie present at the birth, which is something we’ve briefly discussed and are still unsure about, however the midwife said she though Josie would be great at a birth with her caring nature. Definitely something to consider deeply I think.
Last week of work so the team organized a dinner for me. The cheeky girls (and the boss) got together and spent a small fortune at Atomik Green (southland) on biodegradable wipes, organic cotton ring, organic lotions, a peter rabbit baby book made from recyclable paper & vegetable inks and a lot more. Once again I felt so blessed to have such wonderful relationships and friends in my life.
Headed down to Moama on the weekend for a mini break with Josie before baby comes along. Stayed at a neat little resort surrounded by red gums with a kids indoor play center, swimming pool & petting zoo. Was really relaxing and a great way to start maternity leave J.
Week 37:
 Have been feeling really spiritually connected this week, not only to the little life inside me but also to my incredibly wonderful husband and my beautiful Josie.
The lovely Jo brought me some stones to aid in my meditation. Labradorite - to banish fears and insecurities from previous disappointments, Fire Agate - to stimulate vitality/dispel fear & instill deep security, Chrysocolla - to calm cleanse & re-energize all the chakras, Turquoise – a protective stone that promotes spiritual attunement & enhances communication with the physical & spiritual worlds & Brecciated Jasper – to impart determination to all pursuits & to aid in keeping your feet on the ground & attaining emotional stability.
Each enhances meditation, which is perfect and of course I’ve put them to use. First time I meditated holding them and my bracelet every sense seemed to be heightened, as I envisioned my baby in my womb slowly and peacefully moving though the birth path I felt tingly, calm, could smell the lavender I intend to burn in the room and then all of a sudden an old man’s rotten teeth appeared totally out of the blue and I couldn’t get them out of my head. Very bizarre & a little freaky, so the next few nights Mike and I just listened to some relaxation scripts and did some light touch massage and that was just as effective.
Had the last two Hypnobirthing classes so learnt the birth breathing and watched some more water births with inspiring and passionate women. The idea with birth breathing is that there is no need to ‘push’ your baby out, you can breath it down and there is a natural ‘fetus ejection reflex’ that allows your baby to be birthed with out the ‘purple pushing’. So now have to spend some serious time meditating and practicing my instant relaxation and breathing techniques. Have loved Hypnobirthing so much that I’ve enquired about becoming a practitioner but they only run the training once a year in October, so will have to wait for next year.
Have also been thinking as to whether or not to have Josie at the birth. I guess it really all depends on the time of day/night we go into labour and how I feel I’m travelling whilst at home. The idea is to stay home as long as possible. Josie has such an empathetic & sensitive soul that it could either be fantastic in the sense that she’ll want to ‘look after me or she may become worried. I trust the birth will calm and peaceful but you never know when ‘special circumstances’ may arise. Think we’ll pack her a hospital bag with lots of little fun activities and play it by ear.
Still feeling really great, very Zen like and with only 3wks to go the excitement is about to make me burst. It’s nice to catch myself smiling when I don’t even realize I am. Have nearly everything prepared, nappies and clothes are washed and ready, just need to organize the hospital bags.
Week 40:
The last couple of weeks have been pretty uneventful, a few Braxton hicks and a lot of time spent meditating and that’s about it. Had another midwives appointment and of course they mentioned the possibility of induction, which freaks me out. Trying to stay in a positive headspace and keep reassuring myself (and her) that I’m ready for her in the hope she’ll listen & come soon, but if speaking honestly am getting pretty anxious as Josie was 13 days over, I only hope that history will not repeat. Starting to get pretty uncomfortable, which isn’t surprising seeing as though I’m roughly the size of a small elephant and for the first time during the whole pregnancy I’m ready to have my body back. Have been trying every ‘natural’ method of bringing on labour, lots of meditation whilst breathing clary sage, nipple stimulation, walking, spicy food and Mike must think all his Christmas’ have come at once. In fact he said the other night “anyone would think we’re trying to make a baby not get one out”
Week 41:
Midwives appointment on Monday (5 days overdue). They asked if I wanted to do a ‘stretch & sweep’ which I declined and said if nothing had happened by Friday I would come in for one then. Did the normal check and baby is happy, blood pressure good, so all is well with that side of things. Being that I’m 5 days over we had to start considering induction and needed to book in a date. I asked for the Wednesday of the following week which would be right on 42wks but they didn’t have anything for that day so suggested I go in on the coming Saturday which would have made me 10 days overdue, I asked what days if any they had the following week and the Thursday was open but that would have made me 15 days over. I insisted that I’d rather that than go in on the Saturday and because they don’t generally allow you to go over 14 days we had to book an OB’s appointment for Thursday to check the baby was ok, I was ok, placenta was ok etc.. before they could allow me to go the extra day. Tuesday was particularly hard, no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t stop focusing on the upcoming OB appointment, having to try and convince him to let me go the extra day, the midwife said we’d really have to stand our ground to get our way. I mean obviously if there was any risk to the baby or myself I would do whatever is necessary, but if everything is fine I don’t see the harm in going as long as she needs, I mean she’ll come when she’s ready.
Mike and Jo were great, really trying to keep me positive. Jo was convinced she’d come before Thursday and Mike said he was going to work on Wednesday as if it were his last day and we would have the baby Thursday and he wanted me to think the same. So we spent all Wednesday talking about having our baby Thursday and really believing that she would come. Wednesday night we tried pretty much everything again but nothing happened. Got up with Mike Thursday morning and still nothing, he left for work at 7.30 so I organized Josie for daycare and as I went to hang out some washing at 8.30am I felt a warm trickle down my leg & I knew, she was on her way.
Sim's (and Zoe's) Birth Story
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